William Thien

Into the Pit!

Posted on: April 13, 2012

Being that we are embroiled in a bitter recall election in Wisconsin, and I mean bittttttt-terrrrrrrr and somewhat unfair in my opinion, and we all have to sit there and listen to this massive line of misrepresentations and falsehoods arriving from multiple camps that nobody has the time or resources to sift through in any meaningful way and the media no longer seems to do a good job of it, why?, because they are advertising the lies on their networks and in their newspapers and profiting from it heavily, I ask, “What is more civilized, to let them broker the lies in perpetuity on our time or simply throw them into a pit and let them work it out?” So we can get on with it, that is. You know, as a country. Because whatever this is that is going on here, it’s definitely not civilized.

It seems to me more than anything now that politics is designed to keep you riveted to it at all times, that if you don’t pay attention, somehow politics in America is going to suddenly collapse and take the country with it. It’s a clever form of media programming, a politics reality show, spinning like a cheap gyroscope, and the candidates are the unwitting players where the media rigs the team votes by revealing nasty little tidbits of information about people the media fears and often the best candidates for the country get voted off the continent. And if you ask me, that’s uncivilized in a democracy. The pit would be more civilized, the pit as a metaphor, that is. Just a metaphor, of course. The candidates could try to climb out of the pit and they could latch onto the tubes and wires coming out of the television cameras, yanking and tugging at the television cameras and crews, dragging them down into the pit with them, strangling the television crews with the rat’s nest of cables, lash their mouths shut, and smash their skulls with the cameras and the props. Wow, wouldn’t that make for good politics? It sure would be sensational tv. The candidates in the pit could smear sand into the television crews’ bloodied, powdered faces, make nooses out of the tv cables and toss the cables up around the steel girders across the pit, lynching the worst of the media from the girders, and then the candidates could punch and kick the dangling, twitching bodies, you know, just like they do to the candidates, in a way that is, metaphorically speaking, of course, just like they do with the candidates that they don’t like because the media seems to fear them for some reason and that’s why they brought out that nasty little revelation about the candidate in the media kangaroo court of campaign ad spending. Woops. Did I say that? WTF happened to Campaign Finance Reform?

So, perhaps we should simply throw them into a pit. They might say I should be in there with them then too since it was my idea. Lovely.

But no, that wouldn’t be fair, some might say because there are female candidates. Some would say, good female candidates, too. And on some accounts, I might be inclined to agree. And it wouldn’t be right to have the women in the pit, too, now would it? Well, why not? I don’t know, I just don’t think it would be a good idea. OK? Well I for one think that’s just plain wrong. Which one are you for again? I for one. Right.

One thing is for sure. Politics isn’t going to let America get on with it anymore. It’s just not. That’s clear.

We are going to have to do something about that.

Copyright © William Thien 2012

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